Captain Flint – an interview and a short story

Captain Flint appeared only in reminiscences in “Treasure Island”. I’ve given him a story of his own in my book “Tread Carefully on the Sea”. But he’s got more life in him than that. So here’s a couple of add-ons.

~ copyright David K. Bryant

AN INTERVIEW WITH CAPTAIN FLINT

Captain Flint, it’s good of you to give time to a journalist. Do you mind if I ask you some blunt questions?”

“Not if you don’t mind some sharp answers.”

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“Okay, I see you have your cutlass there and I wouldn’t want you to answer me with that. Anyway, first question. Could you describe yourself?”

“I have black eyes and I’m told they’re quite intimidating. They’re on you now.”

“Yes, uh, they’re quite charming. Could we change the subject? I hear you’re quite a sportsman.”

“I enjoy archery. I’m a bit tired of conventional targets. In “Tread Carefully on the Sea” I shoot a man in the head.”

“Oh, that must have been in self defense.”

“No, I just wanted to make an example of him.”

“It must be hazardous being a pirate but I expect you get a lot of fan mail.”

“Quite a few ghosts seem to have a sneaking respect for me.”

“Well that is unusual. Who do you most admire?”

“Anyone who’s still alive after I meet them.”

“Um, Captain Flint, you don’t mind me being here, do you? I mean, I’ll leave if I’m taking up too much of your time.”

“Too late. We’ve up-anchored since you arrived.”

“Oh dear, where are we going?”

“Ultimate destination – Hell. But before that we’ll be making a stop at Purgatory.”

Purple Clover's photo.

– – – – – – — – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

AN UNEXPECTED CALLER

“Justin, there was a knock at the door. Will you get it please? I’m up to my neck in grilling sausages and burgers.”

“Okay Debs. Keep your hair on. I thought all the guests had arrived now.”

“Well it must be somebody we forgot. We sent out about a million invitations. If you remember, you said you wanted the biggest Halloween party ever. Now, please go and answer the door.”

***

“Good evening. Hey, that’s a great costume. Love the three-cornered hat and that greatcoat – could be straight out of that pirate book I’ve been reading, Tread Carefully on the Sea.”

“Well can you let me in? It’s raining cutlasses out here.”

“Sure. Hey, I’m really sorry, I know we must have met. But hands up, I can’t remember your name.”

“Captain Flint.”

“Oh yeah, of course. Good to have you here, Captain. You’re a bit late. You missed the pumpkin soup.”

“Hmm. I had trouble parking my galleon.”

“Galleon? Is that the new Ford model?”

“No, Silly. It’s my wonderful ship, the Walrus.”

“Ship. Walrus. Oh, I get it. Goes with you being dressed up like a

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pirate. Great joke. Where did you park in the end?”

“On your neighbor’s swimming pool.”

“Ha ha. Well the neighbor’s in here so you can tell him all about it. What can I get you to drink?”

“Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.”

“You’ve got a great sense of humor. Do you take coke with your rum?”

“No. Coke hasn’t been invented where I come from.”

***

“Hey, everybody. We’ve got another guest. I want you to meet Captain Flint.”

“Where is he then, Justin?”

“Well, here, Debs, right beside me. This man in the three-cornered hat.”

“What man in what three-cornered hat?”

“Oh come on, Debs. Stop playing about. He’ll think you’re rude. He’s late because he’s left his walrus in Fred’s swimming pool. Look, Captain Flint, let me take the hat. You’ve got water pouring out of the brim.”

“Justin, where did you get that hat?”

“Captain Flint just handed it to me.”

“Justin…”

“What?”

“You’re babbling about an invisible Captain Flint, a walrus in a swimming pool and you’ve got an empty rum bottle in your hand. Have you downed the whole lot?”

“No, Captain Flint drank it.”

“Justin, you’re drunk. How could you spoil our party like this?”

“For God’s sake, Debs…”

“Just take your imaginary Captain Flint and go and walk round the park. Try to sober yourself up.”

***

Knock, knock

“Hello Deborah.”

“What? Three-cornered hat, greatcoat. You must be that Captain Flint my husband was talking about. I thought he’d imagined you in a drunken stupor.”

“No, Deborah, I’m here.”

“Hmm, nice to have you here. Love those black eyes.”

“Thank you. Now I’ve a tremendous thirst on me. Do you have any more rum?”

“Yeah, of course. Hey, did you come by the park?”

“Yes.”

“Did you see my husband out walking? He hasn’t come back.”

“Well I saw a man heading towards your neighbor’s swimming pool. He said he wanted to see the walrus.”

“That’d be him. Anyway, never mind. Take my arm and let’s join the party.”

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Captain Flint stars in

“Tread Carefully on the Sea” – the prequel to “Treasure Island”

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Author of fiction